You think of yourself as a pretty likable person. You think of yourself as someone people like to talk to and joke with, but then you start doubting yourself when you notice a co-worker avoiding you or being short with you.
Don’t freak out because it happens to the best of us. Honestly, I think it’s best to just forget about them and only speak with them when it’s work-related, but it’s human nature to want people to like you. So if this feeling of inadequacy is really festering inside of you, then follow my three-step guide to make some friends.
1. Don’t Be a “Try-Hard”
A try-hard is pretty self-explanatory; it’s someone who tries too hard to be perceived a certain way by others.
It’s a natural reaction for humans to want everyone to like them. In fact, when we get a feeling that someone doesn’t like us, then we usually try even harder to get on their good side.
Not everyone is going to like you, just as you don’t like everyone you meet. And the harder that people try to convince others to like them, the more annoying they come off.
Think about it. Do you have someone who you can’t stand but keeps talking to you and then you get even more agitated?
The solution is to talk less and get to the point when you need to converse with them. The less you try to get on their good side, the more they may think that you’re not as bad as they thought, and maybe they’ll try to get to know you better.
2. Be the Listener, Not the Talker
As I mentioned, talking less is the key to not being a try-hard and the next step to getting your co-worker to like you more.
Don’t be such a narcissist, like me. I know it’s easy to talk about yourself, especially when you’re as awesome as I am, but you should also be someone that people can share their feelings and ideas with.
No one wants to talk to someone who only wants to talk about themselves. Let your co-worker talk to you when they want to talk to you, but don’t make them talk to you by frequenting their office- that’s when you’re being a try-hard.
3. Let Them Shine
Similar to talking about ourselves, another narcissistic trait is showing off things we excel at. So remember to boost your co-worker’s ego by asking them questions they know the answer to.
For example, if your co-worker is a software developer or is in some type of computer engineering field, then you should ask them how to build a computer or how to pirate movies.
And no, I am not encouraging anyone to steal movies, that’s just something I may ask… out of curiosity, not to actually pirate movies… yes…
So whatever their profession, just ask them questions that let them shine and boost their ego.
Remember that not everyone will get along, and people definitely don’t get along all the time, but that’s normal. Don’t stress about the people who like you or don’t like you; the world would be gray and boring if everyone had the same personality and opinions. And if all else fails, then you can get some cats.